If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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pickle juice?

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Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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