Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Chuck Norris watches TV.

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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Christians

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops