What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

minorities.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

An boy with ADHD walks into a

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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