Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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kcuf read it backwards

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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