Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

Canadians

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

J.D. has 10 vaginas and 2 penis's

The WNBA.

Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

World Peace

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...