what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

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womens rights

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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68

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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lol

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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The Blonde walked into a wall.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops