Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do you get when you cross an alligator and a kangaroo? Nothing. An alligator is a reptile and a kangaroo is a mammal, therefore it is impossible for them to breed.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops