how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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bum sex lol

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops