So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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FUCK THE CHRISTIANS

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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