Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

thumb_up thumb_down +29

... Chan chan

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

thumb_up thumb_down

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

butt sex

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops