Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A midget walks under a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is 33 + 1? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock!! kanye west

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops