How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

two people are falling out of a plane, a blond and a brunnete who hit the ground first. the blond, the brunnete brought a parachute

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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