A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Hitler and Jews become friends.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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