Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOLCAN'T BE UNSEENMEANWHILE INOBJECTIFACESCUMBAG STEVESHIT BRIX CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! TwitterRssPOPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Anti Joke logo Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Solve Media Puzzle Challenge Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Extremeadvertisements-com-5cfadf EXTREME ADVERTISING Perfectlytimedphotos-com-b58760 PERFECTLY TIMED PHOTOS Ratemyexgf-com-633509 RATE MY EX GIRLFRIEND Ratemybattlestation-com-7e4d51 RATE MY BATTLESTATION Meanwhile-on-nascar-adc088 MEANWHILE IN Spoiledphotos-1218961875-34918 SPOILED PHOTOS Quotes From Other Sites “Five dollar women... WOO!.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar.” via: Clarksonisms “Habanero flavourd knives and forks.” via: Pointless Inventions “the power to sh*t brix at will!.” via: Pointless Super Powers “Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “You think you so slick with all your digs at my small Asian penis, but you didn't think this one through because you are no....” via: ethugtxt available on the app store! Anti JokeAnti-Pickup LineethugtxtPointless InventionsThings You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

Do you want to hear a joke? No.

yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

FOLLOW ME @airvvv

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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