Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a car? You build it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do you know what color comes after 9?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops