What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

thumb_up thumb_down +49

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

25

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what happened to your carpool? they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops