What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

This is not a joke.

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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