What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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