Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Robin, get in the car!

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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What did the fish say? Moo

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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Communism is very bad........well........look at China's economy

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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