Hello

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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