Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

69

Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

You're on fire.

man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

What does A duck smoke? Quack

Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

my name is Jacob sartorious

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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