don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

this website even though its hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops