Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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poop.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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