What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

knock knock. who's there? ya ya who? dot com

Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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