what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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25

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banana

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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One time i was sitting down

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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