What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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25

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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