Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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