What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

A black guy gets arrested...

What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

Doctor, I keep imagining Doctors. *hayball rolls*

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Knock knock. Come in. You're under arrest for second degree murder.

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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