How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

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Girls soccer

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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