Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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