What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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An Asian man fails a math test

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Dislike this.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Where's the dick??? east

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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