What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Dakota Fanning

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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French people.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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