A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't allow horses in here." The horse then leaves.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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Winking at old people

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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maddie latino

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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