Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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Miscarriages.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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