What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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