How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

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Bob dole

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops