Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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