Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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George W. Bush

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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German sausage is the wurst

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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