Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Granny porn!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How does a printer work? You plug it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

thumb_up thumb_down

What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops