What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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a blind man walks into a wall

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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ok

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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