monkey sponge

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Jewwy Jewstein

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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