what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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wenis

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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Turkeys are obese

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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What is next?

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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