- Anti Joke

whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

Why did the baby boy start crying? He got hit with a toaster

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

The Legend of the Fierce Fireplace In the beginning there was a fireplace, and from that fireplace a fire glowed by the burning embers of the last feathers of a mighty phoenix. And as the last of the feathers burned and the fire exhausted, from the ashes a new phoenix was born. Then just when the newborn began to take its first breath the fire started up engulfing the infamous bird with its huge fiery teeth. The bird screamed out in terror, but no one was around to save it. Just as fast as the fire started, however, it ended with an explosion of blood and feathers, each on fire. When each of the feathers finished burning, a new baby was born. Every newborn looked at each other and without a word knew exactly what had happened. Every one of them vowed to spread the word of the terrible fireplace accident. Years passed and the phoenixes died off from having too little magic to regenerate. The story never died though and reached the ears of an old man. Enraged by the tale, he dedicated the rest of his life to finding a solution. However, this was short lived for he died just a few days later of old age. The story takes a pause here for over a century. Then, suddenly, it was by chance that a young engineer would walk into a library and choose this book. He realized that the fireplaces currently in use were no different than the ones mentioned. He then dedicated his life to finding a solution, and he found one. By using the modern technology of the time, he created a simple, yet safe, gas burning fireplace. This essentially solved the problem. Along came computers. With the introduction of a new medium for engineering several people began designing old things with circuits and chips. This developed into unforeseen consequences. As digital engineering was a new subject, and the people experimenting with it had little to no experience, many of the new designs contained errors that unless otherwise solved created the same problem that it tried to fix, but the people were lazy. They put off trying to repair these new designs and left it to later generations. This is where I come into the picture. After studying Digital Engineering for half a semester, it was deemed I was worthy enough to tackle the famed Fierce Fireplace. Not knowing any better, I accepted the challenge. This is where our journey takes a turn for the worse. I will begin and end by explaining to you the process of designing the perfect, exceptionally-crafted, digitally engineered fireplace. From what was given, the problem became clear. The first step was to create a truth table that contained four inputs and two outputs. The first output is to send a logic one whenever there was at least three inputs with a high signal. The second and most troublesome output will send a logic one whenever the outputs don’t all match. By logical association, the next step was to create a Karnaugh map for each output. From those helpful hat tricks it was easy to create very simple minterms for each output. Thereafter, those minterms were translated into circuit diagrams with the first output being limited to the use of NAND gates, and the second output only uses NOR gates.After hand drawing each circuit, the next step I took towards perfecting this fireplace was to insert both of the new designs into Multisim, but this time, instead of having two different designs, both were inserted into the same file sheet to create a single-circuit, double-output process. From this new setup I was able to recreate the circuit on a breadboard. I realized that this specific design called for four NAND ICs and four NOR ICs. This is to allow for the simplest circuit design in each instance. Using a bread board companion, it was quite easy to design a four-input circuit with two outputs. After the design was complete, the design was tested by both me and my instructor. (See picture and parts list for an added assistance.) Knowing all of this the final thing to do was write a two hundred and fifty word conclusion summary of what it took to create the perfect fireplace. I thought this was to demanding so I skipped it; however, only an ignorant jerk wouldn’t turn in anything to their instructor- it’s funny because I usually do that- just to be lazy. Instead this legend, true or not, should suffice for the reason and process of the design. Amen.

roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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