George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Emily Walker.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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