What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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