Why was a black man running in the street with my wallet in his hand? Because he saw me dropping it and was trying to reach me to give it back.

thumb_up thumb_down +191

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I'm not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

thumb_up thumb_down +69

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops