what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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