A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

knock knock whose there? i don't know...

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

a jew walks out of a furnace

what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

wenis

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

Turkeys are obese

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

What is next?

What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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