Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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