How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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