i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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A six foot chicken, a horse, and a muskrat walk into a bar. They are then detained by animal control and the bar undergoes a thorough cleaning.

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the cow goes moo

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gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

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A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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