why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Timmy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

10inch nice

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna hear a joke? women's rights. jaye clenton is a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops