What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

God is religiously proven to be real

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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