You have friends

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

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Patient- Doctor, I am feel intense feeling for 15 year old pop singers!!! Doctor- Oh, sound like youve got Beiber Fever. Patient- Whew. I thought it was something serious Doctor- Its terminal, you have about 5 more days to live.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Q:what does jgjdhter hjldhgukrh mean A: it means something it is a real word

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Boobs are nasty!

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Hi

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What happens when a Republican accidentally walks into a Gay/Straight Alliance meeting? The man asks if he is in the right place. He apologizes and then leaves.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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