Women Voting

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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Two muffins are in an oven, and one muffin says to the other "It sure is getting hot in here". the other muffin says "holy crap, a talking muffin."

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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