Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's under the first mate? The second mate.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Thumbs down this! Please, i wanna see how many thumbs down this can get!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +69

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops