Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

make me a sandwich! what kind?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops