How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

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You have friends

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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