What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Harry Styles

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops