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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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